Take Heart, Give Heart

7/11/2012

This is another installment of Cedar’s Digest, a series of poetic stories about the experiences my husband, Ren Ruslan Feldman, and I are having living for six months in Central Borneo. We are volunteer teachers in a small, innovative Indonesian school. The school is child-centered with a focus on hands-on learning and character development. Classes are taught in English and Indonesian.

squeezed through the doorway
into Central Kalimantan, Indonesia
like toothpaste from a tube
I didn’t know what shape
I would take

now five months later
the paste has shaped itself
and the Kalimantan side of the doorway
to life in America
is wide and vivid with the colorful
essences of Kalimantan

we leave treasures
and we take treasures
from these people
this place

life is simpler, harsher,
more contained
smiles are bigger
life is well-surrendered to the moment
the majestic and glorious rains
clear the air
the clouds and sunsets are
the motion pictures to attend
the heat presses in on everything

most wondrously
we found love, deep and strong
unmediated, uncomplicated, uncluttered
by words
pure and in the moment
revealed in a smile, a gesture, a look

so often their English and my Indonesian
failed to convey a concept
but messages of heart beamed through
“Your heart is soooo nice,” says Endah
Ah yes, and so is yours.
Surya, our housekeeper’s morning smile
woke the day with a sparkle
she and I would delight in new words
she with her English dictionary
I with my Indonesian one
“Ibu Cedar, the name for this is ‘nanas’!”
(pineapple…this word is now associated
with her happy face)
She and Ren then have long conversations in Bahasa
we pay for English lessons with Olivia
after we leave

my beloved teacher of high ceremony,
Elizabeth Cogburn
gave me a meditation practice
hands on heart– saying “take heart”
hands outstretched– saying “give heart”

take heart, give heart
moments that will nourish my soul:
• walking into the school
hearing the children singing a song,
“music alone shall live”
that I gave to Reni, the music teacher
from my Girl Scout song collection
from 1959

take heart, give heart
• “Shila wanted me to give you this card she made.”
Shila’s father hands the card through the window
he has found us literally as we are driving away!
the card from the 6th grader says, “Thank you for teach us English
and make English more fun. You’re never angry
with us and just want to make us happy.”

give heart, take heart
• “Surprise! Surprise!”
the Indonesian women teachers have
rented a karaoke room for a good-bye party
(Ren gets a privileged experience of the women’s world)
they are remarkably lively and loud
dancing and singing exuberantly in their own space
we sing “we all live in a yellow submarine”
they give me some beautiful, silk material as a gift

take heart, give heart
• “I’m curious, what will you remember
about our class?” I ask the 6th graders
“The Ingots Game”
(of course…we made up a whole board game
based on a book we read)
“What else?”
“The good luck charms, Bu. They really helped!”
I had totally forgotten this
before their big national exam
I had given them some clay to make things
it only took five minutes
but it is at the top of the list!
what else?

Give Heart, Take Heart
• Endah gives me an exhilarating ride
on some back roads on her motor bike:
grand view of the flatlands from the top of the bukit (hill),
riding up close on dirt roads past shacks and fields
life eked out of the jungle
raw and real
my heart was full

Take Heart, Give Heart
Karim, the Principal of our school
gives us a card, a gift, and a special thank you
the children and teachers clap
I cry looking out at them–
the hundred of them
whose hearts
are in our hands

The card says things like:
“Gunarjo: I have wonderful time with you both. Your advice like spark of light and it will be brighter and brighter to
develop the school. Acha: Thanks for being such a great friend, teacher, and my inspiration. Endah: Thank you for
everything you have gave to us. Elis: Thank you so much for all the precious knowledge and experiences. Herni: I love
you Ibu Cedar and Pak Ruslan. It’s such a bless to know both of you.”

We are grateful that as elders (ancient ones)
our gifts of experience were received and valued:
parenting and emotional coaching and support
Social Studies and English invented games
Right Use of Power program for community, teachers, and students
foundation for Adult Education Program for the Kalteng
organized and inspired by Ren
Indonesian translation of Ren’s Wising Up book for Youth
done by Ren’s high school students as a fundraiser
big-picture suggestions for the school from our teacher’s-eye view

we have a “give-away” party
and enjoy the enormous pleasure
that our things give
Ren’s hat to Beate who always wanted a hat like this
A colorful belt to Lance who is hard to give to
the Settlers of Catan game that went “viral”
in the last weeks of school
to the girls’ dorm
clothes, books, games
even with oleh, oleh we have bought (souvenirs)
we are one suitcase lighter
Surya takes it as her travel suitcase
I look around at our dear friends
there in our living room
Muslims, Christians, Subuds
twenty-somethings, “ancient ones” like us
Indonesians, Europeans
our special little community
a this-time-only charisma of energy

Take heart, give heart
Take treasures, give treasures
Take wisdom, give wisdom
Plant seeds, water seeds

Bjorn drops by early in the morning
bringing a sacred hornbill feather
Waiting for the BCU car to pick us up for the airport
I hug Surya and walk around the block
memorizing everything

Like the Dayak Jinn that have parallel lives
we had a full parallel life for 5 1/2 months
we had a house that we furbished
we had jobs as primary and high school teachers
we had a social circle
we had projects we were passionate about
we had a daily routine
we embedded ourselves
into another culture and another language
this became our real life
we became this shape
we experienced the essence of love

now we return to our parallel shape
we give heart and we take heart
in leaving our dear ones
heart-wrenched, heart-warmed
we leave stretched, nourished, satisfied
and grateful

(Image: stock.xchng/otjep)

19 Comments

ERIC BRUNT

9/7/2019 05:59:33 am

i am ERIC BRUNT by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my wife after three(3) years of marriage just because another Man had a spell on her and she left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a man had a spell on my wife and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that i will have my wife back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my wife. Thanks for helping me Dr Akhere contact him on email: AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com
or
call/whatsapp:+2349057261346

i am ERIC BRUNT by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my wife after three(3) years of marriage just because another Man had a spell on her and she left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a man had a spell on my wife and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that i will have my wife back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my wife. Thanks for helping me Dr Akhere contact him on email: AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com
or
call/whatsapp:+2349057261346

wendy ruth

5/23/2021 06:54:35 pm

A MIRACLE TESTIMONY FOR WHAT DR SAYO HERBAL HEALER HAS DONE FOR ME AND MY FAMILY I was cured from CANCER with the used of natural herbs. My name is wendy ruth and am from USA. I love herbs so much. Most times, injection and drugs are just a waste of time. I was cured 2 months ago, i suffered from CANCER for 3 yrs but with the help of Dr.Sayo herbal medicine, i was cured within 3 weeks of drinking the herbs he sent to me through courier delivery service. This same doctor also cured my aunty from FIBROID, as soon as i heard she had FIBROID, i quickly refer her to Dr.Sayo and she was cured too after drinking his herbs.I have referred more than 15 persons to Dr.Sayo and they were all cured from their various illness. Have you taken herbs before?. You have spent so much money on drugs, injections, surgeries etc and yet you have no good result to show for it. Contact Dr. Sayo now, he is a herbalist doctor, i assured you of a cure if you drink his natural herbs. Dr.Sayo have herbs that cures Hiv, Herpes, diabetics, asthma, hepatitis, HBP, PAD, STD, cancer, chronic, etc. Contact Dr Sayo through his Email address on: sayoherbalhealer@gmail.com or WHATSAPP/CALL him on +2349012175679 Visit his FB page: https://www.facebook.com/Sayo-Herbal-Healer-100145798345000/ you can also visit his website: http://sayoherbalhome.com/

.

Lisa Bennett

7/25/2021 11:11:07 pm

Hi everyone... Am so excited to share my testimony of a real spell caster who brought my husband back to me. My husband and I have been married for about 6 years now. We were happily married with two kids, a boy and a girl. 3 months ago, I started to notice some strange behavior from him and a few weeks later I found out that my husband is seeing someone else. He started coming home late from work, he hardly cared about me or the kids anymore, Sometimes he goes out and doesn't even come back home for about 2-3 days. I did all I could to rectify this problem but all to no avail. I became very worried and needed help. As I was browsing through the Internet one day, I came across a website that suggested that Dr. Wale can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and told him my problems and he told me what to do and I did it and he did a spell for me. 48 hours later, my husband came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promised never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. My family is living together happily again.. All thanks to Dr. Wale If you have any problem contact him and I guarantee you that he will help you. He will not disappoint you. you can WhatsApp him +1(978) 406-9575 or Email him at : everlastingspellcast@gmail.com or view his website for more review https://everlastingspellcaster.website2.me/contact

Sharon Wayne

11/4/2020 05:46:05 am

I want to thank Dr Emu a very powerful spell caster who help me to bring my husband back to me, few month ago i have a serious problem with my husband, to the extend that he left the house, and he started dating another woman and he stayed with the woman, i tried all i can to bring him back, but all my effort was useless until the day my friend came to my house and i told her every thing that had happened between me and my husband, then she told me of a powerful spell caster who help her when she was in the same problem I then contact Dr Emu and told him every thing and he told me not to worry my self again that my husband will come back to me after he has cast a spell on him, i thought it was a joke, after he had finish casting the spell, he told me that he had just finish casting the spell, to my greatest surprise within 48 hours, my husband really came back begging me to forgive him, if you need his help you can contact him with via email: Emutemple@gmail.com or add him up on his whatsapp +2347012841542 is willing to help any body that need his help.

Leta Mancare

3/17/2021 12:58:18 am

Going through divorce with the partner you love is like been in hell, my husband filed for a divorce without giving me reasons. I was totally down for I had no idea of what was happening and I tried to confront him to know what led to such action but he didn't give me listening ears.. I tried getting to know what happened through his family members but that didn't work either and this time was going mad about everything till I searched for help online and I came across Lord Zakuza contact number +1 (740) 573 9483 and I messaged him to let him know what I was going through and Lord Zakuza encouraged and promised to help me with his powerful spell and within 48 hours after contacting Lord Zakuza and followed all his instructions, my attorney called me to get me informed that the divorce case has been cancelled and after 30 minutes, I got a call from my husband pleading and begging for forgiveness and right now we are back together with so much love and care.

Brittany Seiber

5/14/2021 08:12:38 am

To know more about Chief Dr Lucky you can visit his website (https://chiefdrluckyherbaltherapy.wordpress.com/)

A friend that suffered from Herpes and was cure with the help of this great herbal doctor Chief Lucky so i decided to contact him for help in getting rid of my families genital herpes virus 1/2 which i did and all i was told to provide was just some useful information and some materials used in preparation of the natural cure and that i did and now i am the happiest person on earth because i am writing this testimony of mine with joy and happiness in my heart to the whole world to know that natural remedy is real because i am a living testimony of Chief Lucky traditional herbal cure and i want you all to contact Chief Lucky via his email: chiefdrlucky@gmail.com or WhatsApp him +2348132777335 am sure he will help you too.

wendy ruth

5/23/2021 06:55:04 pm

Caillo Lisa

6/14/2021 01:05:29 pm

This is another testimony on how Chief Dr Lucky cured my HIV disease. Do you need a cure for your HIV disease? Do you want to be cured from your cancer disease? Or you want to be free from any type of disease. Kindly visit his website https://chiefdrluckyherbaltherapy.wordpress.com/ . He just cured my HIV disease and I’m very grateful to him, he is the only herbalist that can cure you.
WhatsApp number : +2348132777335
Via Email : chiefdrlucky@gmail.com
Thank you all for reading,
God bless"

Emma

6/16/2021 08:27:59 am

Hello Everyone out there,I am here to give my testimony about a Herbalist doctor who helped me . I was infected with HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS in 2016, i went to many hospitals for cure but there was no solution, so I was thinking how can I get a solution out so that my body can be okay. One day I was in the river side thinking where I can go to get solution. so a lady walked to me telling me why am I so sad and i open up all to her telling her my problem, she told me that she can help me out, she introduce me to a doctor who uses herbal medication to cure HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS and gave me his email, so i mail him. He told me all the things I need to do and also give me instructions to take, which I followed properly. Before I knew what is happening after two weeks the HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS that was in my body got vanished . so if you are also heart broken and also need a help, you can also email him at drgodwinsolutionhome@gmail.com or whatsapp him number: +2348054615060 Contact him today
https://drgodwinsolutionho.wixsite.com/drgodwinsolutionhome

Victoria

6/23/2021 05:40:30 am

A MIRACLE TESTIMONY FOR WHAT DR Godwin HERBAL HEALER HAS DONE FOR ME AND MY FAMILY I was cured from herpes virus with the used of natural herbs. My name is wendy ruth and am from USA. I love herbs so much. Most times, injection and drugs are just a waste of time. I was cured 2 months ago, i suffered from herpes virus for 3 yrs but with the help of Dr. Godwin herbal medicine, i was cured within 3 weeks of drinking the herbs he sent to me through courier delivery service. This same doctor also cured my aunty from FIBROID, as soon as i heard she had FIBROID, i quickly refer her to Dr. Godwin and she was cured too after drinking his herbs.I have referred more than 15 persons to Dr.Godwin and they were all cured from their various illness. Have you taken herbs before?. You have spent so much money on drugs, injections, surgeries etc and yet you have no good result to show for it. Contact Dr. Godwin now, he is a herbalist doctor, i assured you of a cure if you drink his natural herbs. Dr.Godwin have herbs that cures Hiv, Herpes, diabetics, asthma, hepatitis, HBP, PAD, STD, cancer, chronic, etc. Contact Dr Godwin through his Email address on: drgodwinsolutionhome@gmail.com or WHATSAPP/CALL him on +2348054615060

Felipe Dylan

7/8/2021 11:32:38 am

To everyone out there who thinks love spells don't work, I’m here to tell you that Lord Zakuza love spell is the best and most powerful. I am a wealthy man who has lots of assets and possessions but I have difficulty with women. Whenever I try to settle down with any, we end up breaking up and I had no idea of why I was going through such an experience in my relationship. It was so worrying that I couldn’t be myself anymore and I started searching for help everywhere even at my place of work. I was going through my work activities online and I came across a testimony of a lady called ( Febe Anouk ) regarding how Lord Zakuza helped her to restore her relationship with his love spell, I had to give it a try because I needed my Ex lover back that I love so much. I visited Lord Zakuza website online and I told him everything I was going through. Lord Zakuza consoled me and promised to help me out with my situation by preparing a love spell for me. I followed the instructions given by him to me and within 48 hours, my Ex lover came looking for me and pleaded for forgiveness. Since I came in contact with Lord Zakuza, things have changed for good in my life and right now, I am married with two beautiful kids and my home is blessed. All thanks to Lord Zakuza I am forever thankful to you. Visit his website for any help via lordzakuzaspells.com or WhatsApp him on +1 740-573-9483. Try him and your life will be blessed.

John Robert

7/14/2021 12:55:24 pm

Thank you Dr. Ayo for your genuine spells. This is really incredible, and I have never experienced anything like this in my life. Before I came in contact with Dr. Ayo, I have tried every possible means that I could to get my wife back, but I actually came to realize that nothing was working out for me, and that my wife had developed a lot of hatred for me. I thought there was no hope to reunite with my ex wife and kids. But when i read good reviews about Dr. Ayo work, i decided to give it a try and i did everything that he instructed me and i trusted in him and followed his instructions just as he has guaranteed me in 24 hours, and that was exactly when my wife called me .. We are more contented now than ever. Everything looks perfect and so natural! Thank you so much for your authentic and indisputable spells. Thank you Dr. Ayo for your help. If you need help in your marriage of a broken relationship, contact Dr. Ayo right now for urgent help, on his WhatsApp: +2347055691377 or at his Email: drayo47373@gmail.com

Felipe Dylan

7/18/2021 03:28:20 am

To everyone out there who thinks love spells don't work, I’m here to tell you that Lord Zakuza love spell is the best and most powerful.. I am a wealthy man who has lots of assets and possessions but I have difficulty with women. Whenever I try to settle down with any, we end up breaking up and I had no idea of why I was going through such an experience in my relationship. It was so worrying that I couldn’t be myself anymore and I started searching for help everywhere even at my place of work. I was going through my work activities online and I came across a testimony of a lady called ( Febe Anouk ) regarding how Lord Zakuza helped her to restore her relationship with his love spell, I had to give it a try because I needed my Ex lover back that I love so much. I visited Lord Zakuza website online and I told him everything I was going through. Lord Zakuza consoled me and promised to help me out with my situation by preparing a love spell for me. I followed the instructions given by him to me and within 48 hours, my Ex lover came looking for me and pleaded for forgiveness. Since I came in contact with Lord Zakuza, things have changed for good in my life and right now, I am married with two beautiful kids and my home is blessed. All thanks to Lord Zakuza I am forever thankful to you. WhatsApp him on +1 (740) 573-9483 or you can visit his website for any help via ( https://lordzakuzaspells.com/) Try him and your life will be blessed.

mary sanchez

7/21/2021 11:39:14 pm

I really happy that i and my boyfriend are cured of (HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS) with the herbal medicine of Dr Aba , i have been suffering from this disease for the past 3 years without solution until i came across the email of this doctors who have cure so many people with his herbal medicine, i also choose to give him a chance to help me and my boyfriend, he told me what to do and i kindly did it, and he gave us his herbal medicine and direct me on how to use it, i also follows his instruction for use and he ask us to go for a check up after 2 weeks and which i did, to my greatest surprise our result came out as negative, we are really happy that there is someone like this DR who is ready to help anytime any day. to all the readers and viewers that is doubting this testimony stop doubting it and contact this Dr and see if he will not actually help you. i am not a stupid woman that i will come out to the public and start saying what someone have not done for me. he is really a great man contact him now. with this email: dr.abaherbalhome@gmail.com you can call or WhatsApp his mobile number on .+2348107155060.

joan mency

7/22/2021 08:54:02 am

I am so happy, i never believe i will be this happy again in life, I was working as an air-hoster ( cabby crew ) for 3years but early this year, i loose my job because of .this deadly disease. called Herpes virus (HSV), I never felt sick or have any symptom, till all workers were ask to bring their doctors report, that was how i got tested and i found out that am HSV positive that make me loose my job, because it was consider as an STD and is incurable disease, i was so depress was thinking of committing suicide, till i explain to a friend of mine, who always said to me a problem share is a problem solved, that was how she directed me to Dr Aba, that was how i contacted him and get the medication from this doctor and i got cured for real, I just went back to my work and they also carry out the test to be real sure and i was negative. Please contact this doctor if you are herpes positive or any STD diseases his email is: dr.abaherbalhome@gmail.com or you can call or whatsApp his mobile number on +2348107155060

Felipe Dylan

7/22/2021 04:30:44 pm

To anyone out there who thinks love spells don't work, I’m here to tell you that Lord Zakuza love spell is the best and most powerful. I am a wealthy man who has lots of assets and possessions but I have difficulty with women. Whenever I try to settle down with any, we end up breaking up and I had no idea of why I was going through such an experience in my relationship. It was so worrying that I couldn’t be myself anymore and I started searching for help everywhere even at my place of work. I was going through my work activities online and I came across a testimony of a lady called ( Febe Anouk ) regarding how Lord Zakuza helped her to restore her relationship with his love spell, I had to give it a try because I needed my Ex lover back that I love so much. I visited Lord Zakuza website online and I told him everything I was going through. Lord Zakuza consoled me and promised to help me out with my situation by preparing a love spell for me. I followed the instructions given by him to me and within 48 hours, my Ex lover came looking for me and pleaded for forgiveness. Since I came in contact with Lord Zakuza, things have changed for good in my life and right now, I am married with two beautiful kids and my home is blessed. All thanks to Lord Zakuza I am forever thankful to you. Visit his website for any help via lordzakuzaspells.com or WhatsApp him on +1 740-573-9483. Try him and your life will be blessed.

Roshima Laken

7/25/2021 09:02:46 am

DR EMU WHO HELP PEOPLE IN ANY TYPE OF LOTTERY NUMBERS
It is a very hard situation when playing the lottery and never won, or keep winning low fund not up to 100 bucks, i have been a victim of such a tough life, the biggest fund i have ever won was 100 bucks, and i have been playing lottery for almost 12 years now, things suddenly change the moment i came across a secret online, a testimony of a spell caster called dr emu, who help people in any type of lottery numbers, i was not easily convinced, but i decided to give try, now i am a proud lottery winner with the help of dr emu, i won $1,000.0000.00 and i am making this known to every one out there who have been trying all day to win the lottery, believe me this is the only way to win the lottery.

Contact him on email Emutemple@gmail.com
What's app +2347012841542
Website Https://emutemple.wordpress.com/
Https://web.facebook.com/Emu-Temple-104891335203341

Mary

7/25/2021 03:24:59 pm

Natural herbs have cured so many illness that drugs and injection cant cure. I've seen the great importance of natural herbs and the wonderful work they have done in people's lives. I read people's testimonies online on how they were cured of herpes, HIV, diabetics etc by Dr. Ogba Kosu herbal medicine, so i decided to contact the doctor because i know nature has the power to heal anything. I was diagnosed with HIV for the past 7 years but Dr. Ogba Kuso cured me with his herbs and i referred my aunt and her husband to him immediately because they were both suffering from herpes and they were cured too. I know is hard to believe but am a living testimony. There is no harm trying herbs. He is also a spell caster, he cast spells to restore broken marriages and a good luck spells to prosper and excel in life. Contact Dr. Ogba Kosu on: drogbakosu@gmail.com Phone/Whatsap no: +2348137291215
facebook.com/Dr.OgbaKosucurecenter/

Lisa Bennett

7/25/2021 11:15:09 pm

Hi everyone.... Am so excited to share my testimony of a real spell caster who brought my husband back to me. My husband and I have been married for about 6 years now. We were happily married with two kids, a boy and a girl. 3 months ago, I started to notice some strange behavior from him and a few weeks later I found out that my husband is seeing someone else. He started coming home late from work, he hardly cared about me or the kids anymore, Sometimes he goes out and doesn't even come back home for about 2-3 days. I did all I could to rectify this problem but all to no avail. I became very worried and needed help. As I was browsing through the Internet one day, I came across a website that suggested that Dr. Wale can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and told him my problems and he told me what to do and I did it and he did a spell for me. 48 hours later, my husband came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promised never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. My family is living together happily again.. All thanks to Dr. Wale If you have any problem contact him and I guarantee you that he will help you. He will not disappoint you. you can WhatsApp him +1(978) 406-9575 or Email him at : everlastingspellcast@gmail.com or view his website for more review https://everlastingspellcaster.website2.me/contact

Take Heart, Give Heart

Leave a Reply.

Author

Archives

Categories